An Insight into Compulsive Behavior

Yesterday's New York Times Book Review had a review of Sharon Begley's new book, Can't Just Stop, which has this insight into compulsive behavior:  "We cling to compulsions as if to a lifeline, for it is only by engaging in compulsions that we can drain enough of our anxiety to function."  And further on, this, in the words of the reviewer, Seth Mnookin:  "For someone with a compulsion, the behavior itself is a coping mechanism for anxiety; that's why so many [sufferers] find their conduct comforting while those around them view it with alarm."  So if you have a compulsion like over-eating, drinking, or smoking, for example, Begley's starting point may have the ring of truth to it. 

It also suggests, to me at least, that the compulsive behavior, when it kicks in, allows me to push on with my work--a way for me to get past the anxiety that threatens the project at hand.  I've always liked this adage about writing projects:  Progress begins when the fear of doing nothing finally overcomes the fear of doing it badly.  Now it seems to me that getting started and then seeing a project through to conclusion creates an anxiety that I cope with by compulsive over-eating, my "lifeline" that drains enough of my anxiety for me to get on with the work.  Nice.  The more productive I am as a writer, the fatter I get.  And the reverse is true too:  I lose weight when I'm unproductive.  It's a sliding scale. 

I like Begley's theory better than feeling weak--it avoids all accountability.  It's more or less a physiological matter, bad brain wiring that I shouldn't blame myself for.  Yeah, that's it.