Whining Poets

          I'm tired of poets whining about the public not appreciating them.  I know more poets than most people do because I've spent my life in colleges and universities which have taken them in as Writers in Residence (comfy positions for poets whose names are sometimes recognized) and as faculty members in creative writing departments around the country.  One blogger claimed in 2012 there were 71 MFA programs (Masters in Fine Arts) and another 112 programs where poets can teach Creative Writing majors; the blogger estimated there are at least 800 new MFA's given out every year.  I doubt if anyone knows how many are poets.  But my guess is too many.

          I like poetry and have written about it, and about poets, most of my professional career.  But there is no way anyone can keep up with the the annual tidal wave of new poets, new books of poetry, and new schools training them.  And it should be made clear from the outset that there are many more good poets now than there ever have been before.  But because of their sheer numbers, they go unread.

          The poets themselves and the Creative Writing programs they come from are their own audiences.  They attend each other's readings and pretend there is a place for them someplace else in the literate universe.  That is delusional, but it's a fiction they all hold on to--just as they hold on to the idea that they are under-read and under-appreciated.  Their usual posture is a sort of hang-dog look of disappointment and lofty superiority, a difficult combination that they manage with the same irritating panache observed in perpetually misunderstood teenagers.

          I think maybe they should take a close look at T. S. Eliot and Wallace Stevens, both of whom worked for a living, Eliot as a banker at first, then in the publishing business, and Stevens in the insurance world.  They didn't whine about audiences.  They wrote when they could, squeezed it in between other obligations.  Nothing hang-dog about them.

God and Superstition

Superstition.  noun

su·per·sti·tion

1.  Excessively credulous belief in and reverence for supernatural beings:  "He dismissed the ghost stories as mere superstition."
2.  Unfounded belief, credulity, fallacy, delusion.
3.  A widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation.
Synonyms:  myth, belief, old wive's tale.  

No one wants to be known as superstitious, so gullible as to believe things that are clearly untrue.  We smile with superiority at the person who believes good luck comes from a rabbit's foot, bad luck from a black cat; that toads cause warts and eating fish will make you smart.  We're way too smart to believe in things like that.

And yet no one who believes in God thinks he's being superstitious.  

Speaking of Crosswords. . .

          I bow in admiration to the men and women who construct crossword puzzles, "cruciverbalists."  I tried for a while to construct my own, and did manage to put two or three together, with great pride, I might add, but all I could manage was the bare-bones success of a school boy.  And I knew by constant exposure to the great constructors that I would never be able to match their wittiness and intricate patterning--their genius.  

          So I gave it up and now sit back and enjoy the brilliant puzzles they have put together.  For me.  And you too.  I know most of them don't do it for the money because unless they grind out a great many of them, it isn't likely they can make much of a living with this talent..  They earn part-time money by being fiendishly creative, while I spend a few late night hours, when I am unfit for proper work, by trying to match wits with them.  They're my heroes--and I thank them all.  

          What follows is a sampling of great minds having fun in a 15 x 15 grid. 

From The New York Times Ultimate Crossword Omnibus:  1001 Puzzles from the Pages of The New York Times (2003), edited by Will Shortz.

Constructor                 Puzzle No.      Clue / Answer

Ernie Furtado              19                  Eschew food  /  fast

Norma Steinberg         21                 Worthless agreements? /  mtpromises

                                                            Nonchalant view of fortune  / ezcomeezgo

Trip Payne                   27                   Battle types  /  Sopranos

                                                            Express wonderment  /   oohandahh

Chuck Deodene          34                   Cleaned a windshield  /  squeegeed

Wayne Robert Williams  39             Coming out on top?  /  bald

Jim Page                      44                  Turning  /  aswirl

Trip Payne                   45                   What you used to be  /  thou

                                                            Great shakes?  /  hulas

                                                            Camels’ destinations?  /  ashtrays

Bob Sefick                  73                   Clicker that might be used on a trawler?  /  castanet

Harvey Estes               94                   Square meal?  /  ravioli

Harvey Estes               152                 Perform perfectly  /  dotoat

A.J. Santora                155                  Stone-broke  /  assetless

Nancy Joline               161                 Easter preceder  /  nor

Nancy S. Ross             170                 A.M. or P.M., e.g.  /  abbr

Jim Page                      177                 Classics trio  /  esses

Rich Norris                  183                One whose work is decreasing?  /  ironer

Brendan Emmett Quigley  224          Steve Forbes is surrounded by them  /  esses

Bryant White              225                  St. Lawrence sight  /  1001islands

                                                              extremely rare  /  1ina1000000

Chuck Deodene          239                  Outdoor air / serenade

Charles Gersch            269                 Concert finale / ina

Gregory E. Paul          271                  It may be rounded on a diamond / third [base]

Jim Page                      274                  Contents of some sleeves / lps

Elizabeth Gorski         275                  Life in the early days / embryo

Lois Sidway                278                   Make or break, e.g. / verb

Sidney Robbins           293                  Bosom companions  /  bras

Jonathan Schmalzbach  359                Nom de crook  /  alias

Chuck Deodene          363                   Eyesores or eye sores  /  sties

Richard Hughes          379                   Y’s half brothers  /  aeiou

Jonathan Schmalzbach  380                Seagoing departure from a Scandinavian capital? / 

                                                                        osloboattochina

                                                               Aggressive personality in the Far East?  / 

                                                                        taipeibehavior

                                                               South American football player?  /  sandiegocharger

Cathy Millhauser         381                  Like mosquitoes at a camp?  /  maliciousintent

Stephanie Spadaccini  384                   Item filed by a secretary?  /  nail

Alfo Micci                   393                  M  /  firstofthemonth
                                                               O  /  secondincommand
                                                               Y  /  thefourthofjuly
                                                               E  /  beethovensthird

Richard Thomas          428                   Food bar  /  oleo

Harvey Estes               446                   Scoundrel, to Betsy Ross?  sewandsew

                                                               Completely, to a pitcher?  threwandthrew

                                                               Presently, to a shopaholic?  buyandbuy

David J. Kahn             447                    Pavarotti, to fans  /  kingofthehighcs

Martin Ashwood-Smith  460               It turns into a different story  /  spiralstaircase

Randolph Ross            464                   Dressing place  /  cruet

                                                               [clue 54A]  =  /  twoxtwentyseven]

Harvey Estes               470                   Final copy:  Abbr.  /  obit

Randolph Ross            555                   Minnesota twins  /  ens [the letter “n”]

David J. Kahn             584                    “Where’s my watch?” asked Captain Hook____  / 

                                                                         offhandedly

                                                               “Get lost, Toto!”  shouted the Tin Man____  / 

                                                                        heartlessly

                                                               “I’m a beauty,” said Venus de Milo____  / 

                                                                        disarmingly

Lois Sidway                599                    Not dose  /  dese

Bryant White              602                    Coasters for Socrates, e.g.  /  anagram

Kiran S. Kedlaya        627                    Betraying, briefly  /  doublexing

Sidney L. Robbins      646                    Saying  /  saw

Manny Nosowsky       654                    Where exes are made  /  reno

Lois Sidway                668                    Overhead lighting?  /  halo

Norma Steinberg         669                   Marriage?  /  altaredstate

Chuck Deodene          749                    Acupuncturist’s fee?  stickerprice

                                                               Dermatologist’s pronouncement?  rashdecision

                                                               Arthroscopic surgeries?  /  jointventures

Martin Schneider        852                   B  /  cflat

Hugh Davis                 857                    Like some kisses and bases  /  stolen

Bob Klahn                   885                    Fall setting  /  eden

Martin Ashwood-Smith  890               Appropriate cry for Crusoe?  /  tgif

Patrick Jordan             896                   Isn’t on the street?  /  aint

Martin Ashwood-Smith

and Bob Klahn            904                    Hamlet’s relatives  /  towns

William Bernhardt      914                   Peter or the Wolfe?  /  nero

Richard Silvestri         924                   Works on pumps, maybe  /  resoles

Jim Page                      944                   At first  /  onbase

Elizabeth Gorski         955                   Child, for one  /  chef 

Frances Hansen           974                   Result of a burning desire  / arson

Crossword Connoisseur

You Don’t Say. . . Friday, June 6, 2014

I'm an old man now and can see that my life has been in a sense one continuous string of enthusiasms that have grabbed my attention and then held on for long periods of time.  Like crossword puzzles, for example.  I can be diverted for stretches of time by Sudokus and online Scrabble, but only crosswords absorb me so completely that time seems to stand still. 
            My mother worked them daily before me, and so I did too as a young man, never thinking while I junior-puzzled that I was becoming an addict.  I wasn't fully hooked, however, until my wife gave me The New York Times Ultimate Crossword Omnibus in 2003, the year it was published.  "Omnibus" in this context turned out to be 1001 daily puzzles, Monday through Saturday, that editor Will Shortz pulled out of the pages of the Times between 1993 and 1997.  These were the first thousand and one puzzles he edited for the Times, "the cream of the crop," he wrote in the Introduction, "of the thousands of puzzles submitted to me until then."
            Shortz tried to imagine how long it would take a person to go through them all.  He thought maybe two weeks of round-the-clock solving would do it, at about twenty minutes per puzzle--and without any breaks for eating, washing, sleeping, or going to the bathroom.  My more modest goal was one a day, which I stuck to from September 26, 2003 to August 6, 2006.  It took two years, ten months, and six days.  It was a crazy-long commitment--and by the end of it, I was indeed an addict.
            But not necessarily to the Times puzzles, even though they are still the gold standard.  The problem is that since 2006, I’ve been living in central Florida and now have just a weekend newspaper subscription—and I’m not a fan of Shortz's weekend work:  Friday and Saturday puzzles are punishingly hard, which compromises whatever wit and charm they may have been aiming for, and Sunday puzzles are bigger than I like.  Monday puzzles are too easy.  But I do like the Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday puzzles, which I usually pick up at the grocery store where I buy the Times for $2.50.  

I tried the online version, but didn’t get along as well with the keyboard as I do with a pencil—or pen.  Using a pen makes the puzzle harder because you have to be very sure before adding words to the grid.  The idea is to make the puzzle as hard as you can but still be able to solve it.  (I read once that Ben Bradlee, legendary editor of the Washington Post from 1968-1991, solved puzzles in his head!)  Every solver has a limit as to how hard the puzzle can be, and part of the fun is stretching yourself out as far as you can in pursuit of that perfect difficulty level.
            Yesterday's Thursday puzzle constructed by Ed Sessa was typically clever, spinning around the answer to 34A:  "1860's novel that is the basis for this puzzle's theme."  The answer was Little Women.  But there were no clues in the puzzle that showed exactly where to find Little Women references.  It wasn't too hard to figure out that they were buried in the four long answers.  17A asked for the "American Moses," which was Brigham Young, but there weren't enough spaces, so I knew at once that one space needed three letters.  It turned out the missing letters were AMY, which provided the pattern for the other Little Women references:  the missing letters in 10D (Shakespeare play setting:  Globe Theater) were BETH; the missing letters in 32D (Ribald humor:  dirty jokes) were JO; and the missing letters in 55A (Baby boomers, with "the":  me generation) were MEG.  And thus the little women were identified and the puzzle was solved.  It's the puzzle within a puzzle that makes all the difference.

Here's another typical Times Thursday adventure, this one by Keith Talon on July 3, 2008.  There are three clues for thirteen-letter answers, each of them with a fiendishly placed error.  20A's clue is "What this answer could use?" which turns out to be PROOFREADINNG.  The clue for 37A is "Like this answer's error," which is TYPOGRPAHICAL.  And the third clue is "This answer contains one":  MISPELLEDWORD.  Not only are the answers ingeniously difficult, they are all spelled wrong.  Brilliant fun.

Thursday puzzles in the Times (and nowadays elsewhere too) are clearly and unarguably the best of the week for me--especially when they contain a puzzle within a puzzle.  And when they do, it's no contest.  They are simply the greatest fun to solve.  Friday and Saturday puzzles are no fun at all, merely being hard for the sake of being hard—and it’s a given that any constructor and his or her editor can make any puzzle harder than anyone can solve--anyone except the Puzzle Prodigies, who walk the earth like mere mortals until crossword puzzles come out and are solved in less time than it takes most of us to sharpen our pencils.  They're a perverse bunch and the less said about them, the better.

It's the Thursday puzzle, then, that packs all the punch, provides more fun per grid than any other all week.  Take it from me, a sort of slightly above average solver--and a genuine, if self-styled, crossword connoisseur.